Somewhere between "I'm fine" and "don't breathe near me."
Cramps
Active. Aggressive. Taking no prisoners.
Mood
Changes every 4 minutes. Do not approach.
Cravings
Everything. Nothing. Both at the same time.
Threat to others
Elevated. Especially to anyone who says "just drink water."
Doctor's note: "She'll survive. But everyone around her should proceed with extreme caution and possibly snacks."
Today's Mood Timeline
A detailed reconstruction of events
8:00
Woke up fine. Life was good. Sun was shining. ☀
8:01
Life was no longer good. 😶
8:02
Stared at the ceiling. Questioned everything. 😐
9:00
Googled "can you die from cramps" (you can't, but it feels like you can) 😩
10:30
Wanted chocolate. Then cried. Then wanted chocolate again. 🍫
12:00
Considered texting someone. Decided everyone is annoying. 😠
13:00
Hot water bottle became her entire personality. 🧡
15:00
Watched a video of a puppy. Cried. It wasn't sad. 😢
17:00
Someone asked "are you okay?" — chose violence. 😡
19:00
Ate an entire meal. Felt human for 11 minutes. 😌
19:11
The 11 minutes are over. Back to suffering. 😭
Now
Reading this. Probably in a blanket. Probably glaring at the screen. 👀
Shoutout to her uterus for ruining a perfectly good day for absolutely no reason.
💋
Okay. Here's the deal.
No speeches. Just facts.
Your body decided to wage war on you today. With no warning. At the worst possible time. As it does. Every single month. Like clockwork. Except when it's NOT like clockwork and shows up whenever it feels like it, which is somehow worse.
And you're still here. Still functioning. Still reading this. Probably in pain, probably annoyed, probably wrapped in something warm and giving the screen a look that says "this better be worth it."
It is. Because here's your survival kit:
Salma's Period Survival Kit
✔ Permission to cancel any and all plans
✔ Permission to eat whatever you want. No questions asked.
✔ Permission to be mad at everything and everyone
✔ Permission to cry at a dog video. It WAS emotional.
✔ Permission to not reply to anyone (except me. reply to me.)
✔ A blanket fort is not childish. It's survival architecture.
✔ One person who will not say "just drink water"
✔ That person is me. I'll say "what do you need?" instead.
— Kossay, your designated "it's okay to be dramatic" support system